Goodbye World; Hello World!



Honestly, I don’t have a lot to say about the last year and the experience of working at Disney World. A lovely friend helped me get out all my angry ranting towards the company, so now I’m just sort of placid. It’s been quite a year. Not great, maybe not even that good, but definitely worthwhile. It’s the parts outside of Disney that kept me going – the other work I found, the friends I made, the hobbies I took up. In an early meet-and-greet I had with a Disney employee, I was told that in order to survive working at the parks at any level, you had to have something else going on in your life outside of Disney. Best advice I got, so I give it back out to anyone planning to work there. Disney cannot be your whole life, or you will get burned out very fast.

I will never regret having Disney World on my resume. Having planned to go into the entertainment business, I’m really glad I went ahead and ruled out theme park entertainment as a good option for me. I recognize the over-use of lists in modern [internet] journalism, and I don’t intend to ever write one again, but I couldn’t help it this time around. So forgive me if the following tone leans towards snide. Despite the sarcasm, these are actually very helpful skills.

10 Skills Acquired While Working at Disney World

  1. Passing the time without losing your mind.

            You have a pen, some receipt paper, and your imagination. Go!

  1. Utilizing your happy place to erase resting bitch face.

            Just think about food, keep thinking about food…

  1. Taking naps in the brightest, loudest, and most uncomfortable places out of sheer desperation.

            You mean you didn’t get a full night of sleep in those eight hours you had between shifts to get home, shower, eat something, have a life, get ready again, and return to work?

  1. Drowning out the six songs that play on a loop overhead while you work… as well as on a loop in your head at all other times.

            Isn’t that a form of torture?

  1. Screaming FUCK!! in your head while maintaining the placid, caring smile on your face.

            Of course it’s my fault you chose the wrong size of shirt and didn’t realize until you had worn it three days in a row and soaked it in your sweat. And you are completely justified in taking out your anger at your spoiled, ungrateful children on me.

  1. Caring about your appearance despite spending 40+ hours a week looking like ridiculous potato sack.

            Rumor has it that Disney’s female costumes are specifically designed to make the women castmembers as unattractive as possible. This is to avoid any less than magical situations due to the wandering eyes of husbands and fathers. Moving out of the middle ages like pros.

  1. Resting half your body weight on a wall or counter while appearing to stand perfectly straight.

            There most definitely is magic involved.

  1. Dropping conversations mid-sentence to help a guest and picking them back up later as though no time has passed.

            “So then I told him if he didn’t stop hitting on my mom I would take a knife and- Hello! How are you today, Princess?”

  1. Surviving the nightmares and hallucinations of the parade you’ve now seen 247 times.

            The haunting is real, man.

  1. Learning the proper language to use if you want something to get done.

            It’s a SAFETY issue, I promise! It’s bad SHOW!


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